The Debrief with Dr. Natasha
If you're a woman of color in any kind of leadership role, you already know the challenges, and how rare it is to find a space to share those experiences and turn them into action. My monthly letters are that space: a place to pause, cut through the noise, and find your voice again.
Distraction as an Emotion Regulation Strategy
Hi Reader, I've heard from a few of you who are interested in learning more about emotion regulation strategies, so this week's blog is about distraction and how to tell the difference between healthy distraction and unhealthy distraction. I've been grappling with my own use of distraction as a coping strategy recently, wondering if turning off the news because I'm overwhelmed by emotion is a form of denial (or civic irresponsibility).I've landed at the conclusion that the answer is...
Two Reasons Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work (and What to Do Instead)
Hi Reader, I was traveling for all of last week - first, a brief family vacation at the beach in Oxnard, California, and then, the American Psychological Association (APA) conference in Denver, Colorado. I hadn't been to the APA conference since before the pandemic and before my daughter was born! I was so glad to return, and enjoyed connecting with colleagues and the part of "old me" that used to attend conferences like this every year. I was reminded how much I love my field - I truly...
Why that affirmation still doesn’t feel true
Happy Monday, Reader! I've been wanting to write about today's topic for a while because I see so many superficial and misguided uses of "affirmations" on social media. The most common error I see is expecting an affirmation to help you feel better regardless of whether or not you believe it. Repeating a positive statement to yourself, or trying to make a "negative" thought "positive", can be incredibly unproductive if you don't consider whether you actually believe the affirmation or not. In...
Navigating Emotional Turbulence: Understanding and Accepting Our Feelings
Hey, Reader, Yesterday, I was having an off day. One of those days when I just felt a little on edge without really knowing why. Have you had days like that? When I start feeling this way, my knee-jerk reaction is to be really frustrated, and I keep telling myself, "Why do I feel this way?" and "I shouldn't feel this way." 🤔 Yes, even as a psychologist. There are at least 2 problems with trying to solve my emotions as if they're an algebra equation, though: (1) I'm actually feeding the...
Why setting boundaries can feel so wrong (even when it’s right)
Hi Reader, If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, or overachievement, you’ve probably noticed that setting a healthy boundary doesn’t always feel good. In fact, it might feel downright wrong—and that feeling might be strong enough to make you avoid setting the boundary altogether. The good news? This is normal.The bad news? It’s also really frustrating. In this week's post, I break this topic down into three parts: Guilt can be useful when it’s aligned with your values. But it...
How to Handle Negative Reactions to Your Boundaries
Hi Reader, Last Wednesday, I got an email early in the morning from a colleague - let's call her Monica - saying she was experiencing sporadic contractions. It was Monica's 30-something week of pregnancy and we were scheduled for an oral examination with a student later that day. She said her contractions weren't that painful and so she would keep us posted over the next few hours before deciding whether to reschedule the exam or not. At first glance and without context, you might immediately...
The Yes-No Spectrum for People Pleasers
Hi Reader! I'm doing something different this week with the newsletter. Instead of linking you to my blog post and YouTube video, I'm just including the blog post in the email! This saves you a click or two, and I hope it makes it easier to share with others who might find some value here. Last week, I shared a three-step approach to making decisions when you're juggling your values and the fear of disappointing others. Today, I want to share a related tool, the Yes-No Spectrum. If you find...
Three Steps to Make Decisions You Won’t Regret
Hi there! Before I get into this week's topic, I have to tell you about an AMAZING concert my husband and I went to on Saturday in Downtown LA. The artist, Sly5thAve, is an incredibly talented jazz musician and composer, and he did a free show featuring the music of Dr. Dre. I'm a big West Coast hip-hop fan, and the way he layered Dre's beats and melodies with his own compositions was incredible. 👇🏼 Check out the track below, even if you're not into hip hop (it's instrumental). Still D.R.E. -...
Is there such a thing as helpful overthinking?
Hi there! Last week, I launched a YouTube channel, started this newsletter, and showed up on social media more times in one week than ever before...with content about overthinking. Did I overthink all these activities? ✅ You bet I did! 🤔 And so it got me thinking, is overthinking ever helpful? As an academic psychologist (AKA a professional overthinker), I'm sure I'm somewhat biased in my opinion that yes, sometimes overthinking can be helpful, so I put together a framework to clarify my...
If you're a woman of color in any kind of leadership role, you already know the challenges, and how rare it is to find a space to share those experiences and turn them into action. My monthly letters are that space: a place to pause, cut through the noise, and find your voice again.